Grief in children and young people rarely looks like the sadness adults expect. It can show up as anger, distraction, silence, or behaviour that seems entirely unaffected, and this course is built around that reality rather than a single 'stages of grief' model. It responds to Childhood Bereavement Network figures, drawn from the last national survey in 2004, estimating that around 1 in 29 school-age children in the UK have been bereaved of a parent or sibling — roughly one in every class — and to University of Cambridge research finding most schools lack a planned bereavement response. This course is not a substitute for specialist bereavement counselling where a pupil needs it, the final session includes signposting to appropriate services.
Objective: Pupil can describe at least two different ways grief can feel, beyond sadness alone.
Check-in: 1. Go slowly. Say that however they are feeling today is fine to bring here. 2. Do not ask how they are coping — it implies there is a way they should be. 3. Let silence sit. You do not need to fill it, and filling it can end the session early. 4. Say what happens to what they tell you: you keep notes, and the plan at the end goes to staff they agree to. If something worries you about their safety you have to pass it on, and you would tell them who to. They can stop at any point.
Input: 1. Say plainly that grief has no fixed order and no timeline. 2. Ask: 'is there any way you're supposed to feel?' There is not — anger, numbness, guilt, relief and ordinary happiness all turn up. 3. Say that none of these mean they are grieving wrongly. Relief and laughter especially. 4. Say they will be able to look through some words in a moment, and pick any without explaining why.
Activity: 1. Lay out the grief feeling word cards and say they can look without picking anything. 2. Ask: 'have any of these felt true recently?' Pupil picks whichever they want. 3. Ask about one, only if they seem willing: 'when did that one turn up?' 4. Do not ask about the rest. Picking them up is enough for today.
Reflect: 1. Ask: 'was there anything on those cards that surprised you?' 2. Say plainly there is no right way to feel, and nothing to do this week.
Watch for: Some pupils will want to talk in detail; others will want minimal words. Follow the pupil's lead entirely in this first session rather than pushing for depth.
Parent/carer take-home: Follow their lead on how much they want to talk about the loss this week, availability without pressure matters more than prompting conversation.
You're seeing week 1 in full. The remaining 5 sessions, along with the printable resource packs, are available once you have an account.
Schools can start a free three-week pilot with up to 3 mentor seats and 10 pupils. No card required.